Who am I?

There is a theme that I collaged about for quite some time…self-discovery. For years I lived as “someone else”. I was someone’s wife, someone’s mother, someone’s daughter. I lost myself in the roles of mother, daughter, and wife becoming the person I thought others expected of me but never developing just “me”.

Just before my 10 year high school reunion I was asked to write a paragraph about what I’d been up to since high school. I wrote a long paragraph but when I reread it I found there was nothing about “me” in it. I had written “my husband … and my children … but there was absolutely nothing about me. And to make matters worse, I didn’t have anything to say about myself either. That was when I knew I needed to do some self work to figure out who I was but I had no idea how to go about doing that. Continue reading “Who am I?”

Parenthood

This image caught my eye as I was thinking about a Mother’s Day post. At first I had to pause a moment to think about what this spiral staircase had to do with my feelings about motherhood.  There is actually a lot more to this particular image than the stairs but I started thinking about motherhood being like climbing a very tall staircase. You don’t know where it goes, don’t know how tall it is or what obstacles you might encounter along the way. You have no choice but to get on it and start climbing because you are carrying another life with you. Later on you may not carry so much as support them along the way. There are times you make mistakes and falter but also joys and sometimes heartbreaks too. And no matter how scary it is on that staircase, even when you feel like you might fall, you just keep going. You are responsible for another life and nothing is more important than getting them to the top. Continue reading “Parenthood”

Masks We Wear

Hidden thoughts, feelings, and memories are communicated through symbols during a mask-making activity.  When I created my first mask art piece, my children told me it was scary. Back then, I was extremely pleased with my completed mask because it had reveled a part of me I hadn’t known existed. I was still broken and having difficulty finding my voice when an accidental hair coloring incident left me with a brand new persona. Hot redhead had emerged and was getting a lot of attention. I remember looking at the woman in the mirror when the unexpected color appeared and thinking to myself, “I don’t know who you are, but I think I’m going to keep you.”  I had not realized until I created this mask, that I was hiding behind the red hair because ‘she’ (the redhead) was somebody different than me, somebody that I wished I could be. She was fun, lively, exciting, and I didn’t know how to be that person. Continue reading “Masks We Wear”