Lifeboat

Once upon a time, my love went through a very dark time. He was lost in a sea of grief, sadness, guilt, doubt, and negativity. He was more than depressed, he was drowning in despair.

 

I felt like I was watching the self-destruction through a window, unable to reach him. I wanted to end his pain while he needed to feel it. I was distraught and sometimes angry as I watched him drown, refusing help. He needed to work through the pain on his own and I was not part of his process. And as much as I understood the reason, it very nearly ended us.  Continue reading “Lifeboat”

Who am I?

There is a theme that I collaged about for quite some time…self-discovery. For years I lived as “someone else”. I was someone’s wife, someone’s mother, someone’s daughter. I lost myself in the roles of mother, daughter, and wife becoming the person I thought others expected of me but never developing just “me”.

Just before my 10 year high school reunion I was asked to write a paragraph about what I’d been up to since high school. I wrote a long paragraph but when I reread it I found there was nothing about “me” in it. I had written “my husband … and my children … but there was absolutely nothing about me. And to make matters worse, I didn’t have anything to say about myself either. That was when I knew I needed to do some self work to figure out who I was but I had no idea how to go about doing that. Continue reading “Who am I?”

The ‘C’ Word

I collected images of storms. I tore the paper and scribbled my feelings. I was fighting for my life trying to get doctors to help me fix the “something” that was wrong in my body. I went to a doctor with my symptoms – got blood tests and medication (that didn’t help) and was told to come back in 6 months.  Eventually I found a doctor who not only believed my symptoms, but could help. A myriad of tests and 3 biopsies later, I finally had my answer. The big ‘C’!  The word that changed my life.

Continue reading “The ‘C’ Word”

Masks We Wear

Hidden thoughts, feelings, and memories are communicated through symbols during a mask-making activity.  When I created my first mask art piece, my children told me it was scary. Back then, I was extremely pleased with my completed mask because it had reveled a part of me I hadn’t known existed. I was still broken and having difficulty finding my voice when an accidental hair coloring incident left me with a brand new persona. Hot redhead had emerged and was getting a lot of attention. I remember looking at the woman in the mirror when the unexpected color appeared and thinking to myself, “I don’t know who you are, but I think I’m going to keep you.”  I had not realized until I created this mask, that I was hiding behind the red hair because ‘she’ (the redhead) was somebody different than me, somebody that I wished I could be. She was fun, lively, exciting, and I didn’t know how to be that person. Continue reading “Masks We Wear”

Silent No More

Silent No More

So how this all started was with a picture in a magazine of this dark face with the moon in her eye. I was so drawn to that image and just had to have it. I know it might sound a little crazy but it is well documented that images have a strong connection to our soul. Well, my soul at that time was extremely distressed. I was going through a divorce, I was scared, broken, conflicted, and did I mention scared? Most of all I felt I had no voice.

I started researching imagery because it really bugged me that I was feeling such a strong connection to this image and didn’t know why. I wanted answers and well, some might think that seeing a professional would have been a good idea, but there was a huge stigma surrounding that in those days (at least in my head) and it just wasn’t my way. I really felt with a little work I could figure it out. That’s when I stumbled across using collage as therapy. So, I thought it was worth a shot because I really needed to fix myself or have a nervous breakdown which was not an option. Continue reading “Silent No More”